Assuming it was federal minimum wage of $7.25/hr and he was working 60 hour weeks with 20 hours of time and a half pay at $10.875 it would take exactly 9,149,826 years working 3120 hours a year for a total of 28,547,457,120 hours worked. Or if satan is nice and lets him have more time off and jeff only has to work 40 hours a week then he will have to work 15,994,695 years or a total of 33,268,965,600 hours. If only hell were real so billionaires could be adequately punished.
Your calculations are gross income. He should also have to pay Satan his tax, as well as pay for food and housing. With all that, he would have very little saved and take much longer.
Fuck being nice, he doesn’t even get bathroom breaks and has to pee in a bottle. His paycheck should include all the taxes that we plebs have to pay, and at a Trumpian tax rate. Matter of fact the amount he has to earn back should include all of the tax he didn’t pay when he was alive.
Also don’t forget, needing to pay rent and pay for food, car, insurance, medical emergencies, oh maybe even an EpiPen and insulin. Also don’t forget the credit card debt payments.
There is no justice after death. The only way to make things right is to make them right now.
money he made
money he stole
Nah he should only get part time employment with hours that constantly change for no reason.
24/7 manual bull semen extraction at minimum wage for servers tips allowed but only acceptable tips are bull semen.
This isn’t right - this all assumes he gets to keep his money. Now take $1500/month in rent, $200 in food, SS, sales tax, etc.
The et cetera: Shouldn’t be allowed to work overtime either. And they should get taxed more if they work a second job, so only 40 hours per week. Attach ridiculous fees to any attempt at saving money in a bank, can’t have their money earning interest for them. They should also be in a high cost of living part of hell with no public transportation. And they should be forced to buy their own safety equipment. They should have to pay for healthcare out of pocket, no good health insurance. And they should be penalized for aging the same way too, with new billionaires coming in cheaper and forcing them out of their position and making their experience a liability in finding new work. Let’s throw in some inflation to keeps things spicy. An HOA that is constantly fighting them and won’t let them grow food. How about random detentions and beatings for being the wrong shade in the wrong part of hell town, the part they work in. And they should never be allowed to forget for one moment what they had in life and how they squandered it on petty selfish things.
He has to build up his wealth with post-tax, post-rent money made using minimum wage. Hope he likes rice and lentils
Gotta cap him on the hours every few weeks too. Don’t want him hitting full-time status.
No more ducking avocado toasts for you, Jeff! Who’s laughing now?
So, basically, we’re just living in hell right now.
First time?
Yep. Not a fan and I have some comments and suggestions, if I may?
We are experiencing higher than normal call volumes and hold times. Your call is important to us and will be answered in the order in which it was received
Can I get some music while I wait?? 🧐
Turns out Nickelback went to hell and they have to continuously perform for eternity to operate hell’s hold music, so, you can listen to something while you wait. If you hit 2 you get Jessica Black’s Friday on repeat but you can’t go back, so choose carefully
👍 (adding another suggestion to the list)
A poorly ripped, grainy low quality mp3 that sounds vaguely like a song you heard once in some kind of office elevator plays, that is 23 seconds long, but is looped for a 30 second timer, then theres an unnaturally long pause before the “your call is important to us” message plays, completing a 1 minute time cycle.
The music starts again.
You, sir, (or madam) deserve a drafty spot in hell
And, it should be treated like a loan, with the interest frontloaded.
Lol I saw someone do the math where he was only allowed to keep a penny a day. I mean I don’t think you need to pay rent of eat in hell. You probably just get tortured non stop after doing some awful grueling repetitive work like breaking rocks. That’s better than he deserves.
$200/week in food. Also through in gas money for his area.
Don’t forget inflation on top of all that!
Pretty telling that they’re depending on their money to save them from death
Luke 12:16b-21
The land of a rich man produced plentifully, and he thought to himself, ‘What shall I do, for I have nowhere to store my crops?’ And he said, ‘I will do this: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I will say to my soul, “Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.”’ But God said to him, ‘Fool! This night your soul is required of you, and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?’ So is the one who lays up treasure for himself and is not rich toward God.
Yup. These people don’t change, because humanity hasn’t, and these cancerous tumors appear here and then. 🤷
Surah Al-Humaza describes it too: “Woe to every slanderer, backbiter. He thinks that his wealth will make him eternal. Never! He will be thrown into the Destroyer.”
Haven’t gotten that far in the Qur’an yet lol
Seems like you know what’s up regardless. 😉
No overtime. We’re going to slap the word “Manager” in his title so he doesn’t qualify.
Chief Executive Manager of Sanitation Operations a.k.a. the one fucking janitor in an endlessly big hospital. Have fun Jeffy
With this punishment, Bezos will eventually escape hell. That’s not fair to the rest of us.
Human civilization most likely wont be here anymore in 9 million+ years at the rate we are “progressing”
But Hell is eternal. 9 million years or 15 million years is barely a drop in the infinite bucket.
Why wait until he’s dead? In my world, he can start this regimen tomorrow.
You have my vote
This makes me wish hell was real.
Elon: “Do I get to start with a few million like on Earth?”
Computer says no 👍
The computer is unfortunately down, you will need to call our toll free line to get in touch with a live representative…. After being queued through our patent pending AI filtration system (hosted by Amazon web services!) to properly sort your query all before sitting on hold listening to Nickleback and Benson Boone songs on shuffle/repeat
You’re enjoying this waaaaay too much… Kinda sus
Whatever do you mean friendly fellow hooman 🤖
Im no religious person, but given this afterlife punishment has an end to it (once he finally finishes working all those hours), wouldn’t this be more a purgatory than a hell?
No because after he accumulates all the wealth he had in life he just gets to be eternally tortured like every one else but with a useless collection of acquired wealth
Naa because after working really hard and doing everything he’s supposed to do he’ll find out it’s all a big lie and he will be staying right there at the bottom, forever.
Unfortunately i only Cropped the crop😖
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