Heroine replacement therapy

Go with ‘oh geez louise’ and ‘jeepers’, theb right at the end you hit them with a GADZOOKS

His Cosmic hunger made him eat of Earth’s grain with a comically large spoon

Even my sandals?

Hey Microsoft, who are these people you’re firing?

DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS

Easy fix

What is animate dead?

They’re rebooting The Expendables already?

It’ll be a long arduous road if she plans on losing to Eric in 2028, but I’m fully confident in her ability.

That’s underselling how racist Churchill was towards Indians. “Beastly people with a beastly religion”.

Though, to be fair, he was also racist towards african peoples, jewish people, arab people, the Chinese and the Irish.

Forgive me God and Parole Officer, there’s something I must do.

Write about a character in a new strange situation

No one wants a Samsung, it’s the Burger King of tech

A COFFEE MAKER IS JUST A DEATH RAY WITH A SMALLER POWER SUPPLY

To paraphrase a poet

All states are authoritharian, dipshit. It came free with the monopoly of violence

(People’s Republic of) Samsung is supposed to announce one of those soon. Though who knows if it’ll even be available outside of Asia.

Juan Guaidó has been recently spotted with hope in his eyes. Witnesses report that he was whispering “put me in, coach”.

How can you have any revolution if you don’t eat your chilis

Attributed to him, but he probably didn’t say it:

Everything under heaven is in utter chaos; the situation is excellent.

It just sounds cool af

Would you take it seriously if a chinese paper said the US ‘secret police’ is disappearing people?

I mean, they are though.