Gulf of Hawaii, it’s right there

Vertical trailer parks, got it.

God I love this so much. I show it to anyone when I say I hate country and they ask why.

A girl can dream

Top-notch meniscus

“It’s like Facebook, but for people’s pets!”

The saddest part is that we have the technology and means to fix any and all of these, just not the desire.

You don’t enjoy the unholy union of packing wrap and kitchen sponge?

‘Tis my profession as well. My life is all testing on Prod.

Maybe you need a ban from Lemmy too

Well this is obviously going to go swimmingly.

“The planet will be fine. We’re fucked.”

— St. Carlin

I’m so glad I don’t have any kids. That failure was a blessing in disguise

That would belong on Twitter, if it was 10 years ago and not full of nazis

Siren beeps

TSA agent: “step out of line and over there, sir. You have an outstanding parking ticket in Fresno. We can’t let you through until you use our approved automated payment processor and agree to our new Terms and Conditions.”

Haha, nice. Reminds me of the libertarian detective copypasta.

You’re supposed to brush your teeth not your skin. Or both I guess

There were only so many hard edges they could put on the logo before it would crash

If you leave your cheeseburger alone for more than 5 minutes, he’s impounding it

It’s all horse shit, just like “whitening” toothpaste.