This is a real phenomenon. Men are more attractive when they’re already in a relationship.
There are similar psychological effects that exist elsewhere. A job applicant is more attractive if they currently have a job. A scholarship application is more attractive if you list your existing scholarships. The effect is basically: someone else found you desirable, and therefore I must also.
The effect is so strong that it encourages people to fake it to gain the benefits.
A girl sees a guy with a girlfriend. Girl’s monkeybrain says “she thinks he’s a good bet, so he’s already been vetted, and he’s probably a good bet.”
Now a girl sees a guy at a party with two girls flirting with him. Now two other girls think he’s a good bet. He must be a good bet.
Now scale up. One guy is on stage playing the guitar. 3000 women are screaming that they love him. Our girl’s monkeybrain: “literally thousands of other girls are debasing themselves to be with him - he is the most desireable guy in the world. Quick, scream, get his attention! He’s your perfect soul mate, just make him notice you!”
I must be ugly as sin. My wife and I have been married almost five years and I have yet to be in a situation where a woman is pursuing me and I can shout, “I don’t know you! You’re not my wife!” and run away.
This is a real phenomenon. Men are more attractive when they’re already in a relationship.
There are similar psychological effects that exist elsewhere. A job applicant is more attractive if they currently have a job. A scholarship application is more attractive if you list your existing scholarships. The effect is basically: someone else found you desirable, and therefore I must also.
The effect is so strong that it encourages people to fake it to gain the benefits.
You’re also more confident when you’re not looking for anything tbh
That’s especially great with salary negotiations. When you’ve already got a stable job there is nothing to lose from aiming high.
Also the reason for the rock star phenomenon.
A girl sees a guy with a girlfriend. Girl’s monkeybrain says “she thinks he’s a good bet, so he’s already been vetted, and he’s probably a good bet.”
Now a girl sees a guy at a party with two girls flirting with him. Now two other girls think he’s a good bet. He must be a good bet.
Now scale up. One guy is on stage playing the guitar. 3000 women are screaming that they love him. Our girl’s monkeybrain: “literally thousands of other girls are debasing themselves to be with him - he is the most desireable guy in the world. Quick, scream, get his attention! He’s your perfect soul mate, just make him notice you!”
Or how employers are more likely to hire you if you’ve already got a job.
Real, and even more cruel.
I must be ugly as sin. My wife and I have been married almost five years and I have yet to be in a situation where a woman is pursuing me and I can shout, “I don’t know you! You’re not my wife!” and run away.